ARTICLE - OPINION: NOW WE KNOW

OPINION: NOW WE KNOW -- 'BABY DOC' JUST WANTS TO 'HELP' HAITI
(AOL) - Emily Troutman, Contributor

PORT-AU-PRINCE -- Finally, a mystery revealed. Former dictator, Jean-Claude Duvalier, "Baby Doc," declared he's come back to Haiti "to help." And, naturally, to find a way to better channel the aid money.

I've been talking it over with other journalists, and we're all kicking ourselves for not thinking of it sooner. We had devised a number of well-founded plots and schemes. Distraction! Conspiracy! Takeover!

Thursday, I saw an article titled "Top Five Theories on why Duvalier Came Back to Haiti." I read it. None of the theories was "to help."

But Friday, when he finally found a place to hold a press conference, at a rented guest house, the ex-dictator said he returned to "participate ... in this collaboration for the national reconstruction." Which make sense, since that's why everyone's in Haiti. Though Duvalier's team doesn't have T-shirts yet. Or a slogan.

To his enormous credit, during the entire press conference, absolutely no one said, "Build Back Better." But maybe that just shows how out of touch they are.

Friday, we also discovered that Duvalier is now represented by an American legal team -- "we're not his lawyers" -- from Snellville, Ga.: Mike Puglise, Ed Marger, and former U.S. congressman Bob Barr.

And they "helped" us better understand Duvalier, too.

Marger, on the dictator's human rights record: "Regardless of what many people say or do or think about what happened during the Duvalier regimes, at least there was stability in the country, and the people, in great measure, were progressing."

At least? Yes. Except for the tens of thousands dead, tortured or "disappeared."

Barr, on why he's arrived: "The President said it best himself-- to help alleviate the suffering of the Haitian people. To help rebuild the country. To encourage particularly, the young people of Haiti."

The ones who don't remember him? Folks here swapped "president" for "dictator" 20 years ago.

Marger, on the dictator's health: "It looks as if he's sort of a stiff neck, but he's not. I know of no other problems that he has. I was watching him have lunch, and he ate. And that's what he wants other Haitians to be able to do, is eat."

I guess the press pool was incredulous. Because everyone just kept asking, "But is he dying?!"

Then again and again, "Why is he here?" Which, since they'd already told us, was more like, "No really. Why is he here?"

It had the feeling of a farce from the beginning. Every day this week, the team surrounding Duvalier announced press conferences. But they couldn't find a venue. No one wanted to take the risk.

10 a.m. at the Karibe Hotel. 2 p.m. at La Reserve. 3 p.m. at Café des Arts. He never showed. It was a nice tour of Petionville's better restaurants.

When he didn't arrive, an aged diplomat, Henri-Robert Sterlin, often appeared in his place. He declared himself spokesperson. He wore an odd, shiny suit, four sizes too big. He seemed like an usher dragged onstage before the curtains open.

He said whatever he wanted, which contributed to a wide range of stories.

Le Figaro: He hopes to regain power. (via Sterlin)

Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung: He will exploit the political uncertainty. (via Sterlin)

Associated Press: He's just a concerned elder statesman. (via Sterlin)

We privately considered boycotting but feared being scooped. The word "dictator" loomed large.

So instead, the international media set up their cameras then packed up their cameras. Trekking from place to place like a reluctant, not very bright, school of fish.

Mostly, the press spent the week on the outside, looking in. It wasn't quite clear where the news was, but still, we made it.

Duvalier's on the balcony now! He's coming down the stairs! He's arrested! No wait, not arrested. He's eating lunch!

On Tuesday afternoon, CNN coverage of the "Developing Situation in Haiti" streamed live onto the big screen TV inside the gated lobby of the Hotel Karibe.

Curious patrons gathered to watch the anchor set the scene outside the gated lobby.

I was inside, and tweeted the oddity -- people locked in the hotel watching the coverage of the people locked out. "If you look *really* carefully," one friend tweeted back, "you're actually in the CNN coverage, watching yourself in the CNN coverage."

We did our best to cover the other news, as well. An election announcement Thursday. And later, press conferences from Amnesty International and presidential candidate, Michel Martelly, preceded Duvalier's.

But for the most part, our media outlets didn't run those stories.

Did distraction and conspiracies take over? Yes.

Is he here to help? Well, maybe, if you want more readers for your stories.